"There's no way you're actually still blushing," says Tighnari, sounding way too delighted about it.

Kaveh slaps a hand to his cheek in mortification. "I'm not! What would I be embarrassed about?"

"You just became the embodiment of a basic romance novel trope. You're flustered. You just got troped."

Kaveh groans and wishes he dared to get up and walk out of the cafe, but alas, his unpaid tab would haunt him both morally and financially. "To be part of a romance novel I would have to be in love."

"Well, I think your crush on Al-Haitham is enough to put you in the category," Tighnari says simply.

Kaveh's mouth falls open. On the table, a little potted plant mirrors his movements, sprawling leaves opening wide in shock. "What makes you think I have a crush on Al-Haitham?" he asks a little incredulously.

Tighnari opens his mouth and closes it, and then opens it again. "Oh dear," he says.

Kaveh meets Al-Haitham in the Akademiya, and it ruins his life from that point forward.